Wedding Season Tips: Be good, have fun, read this.

It is officially wedding season. I’ve been thinking a lot about it, especially with our 3-year anniversary less than a week away.

I really, really love going to weddings. Besides two people joining themselves together forever, it’s just a lot of fun. It’s fun to see what people are wearing, to eat the food, and catch up with friends and family or meet new people.

That being said, weddings are not all that fun for the people actually getting married. Not BECAUSE they’re getting married, but because of the stress the well-meaning folks attending the weddings put them through.

I think a lot of people in my generation (and older/younger people too) forget or are ignorant of common wedding etiquette. Here’s a short list of things I’ve seen lately.

Not sure if you can bring a guest, your kids, etc? Check the envelope.
If you’re wondering if you can take the new guy you just met, or if your toddlers are invited, the quickest way to know is to see who the invitation was addressed to. For example, if it says, “Your Name and Guest” on the addressee line, you’re good to go. If it says “ Your name/spouses name and family” bring your kids. If it says, “Your name,” you are the only one invited.

Don’t ask the bride or groom if you can bring someone. It costs them money for you to bring a guest, and they might be on a strict budget and can’t fit another person in. It wasn’t an accident; they really don’t want you to bring someone. The kid thing can be tricky. We didn’t have kids at our wedding. It was a conscious choice. It does sound a little harsh, and some people chose not to come. It’s just one night – it is up to you if you want to go to a child-free wedding without your kids, or not. But don’t hassle the bride about it.

RSVP: It is not just a suggestion.
If there is an RSVP card included in your invitation, or a link to a website to respond to, please do it. This isn’t for fun, or just to see who is coming. It’s essential to the headcount, food, cake, alcohol, seating chart and more.

If you come unannounced, you might not have a dinner (especially if it’s plated and not buffet). There might be just the right amount of tables and chairs set out, leaving you literally without a seat (or awkwardly trying to shove another chair next to your uncle). It seriously stresses out the bride, who can see exactly who hasn’t gotten back to her. Is she supposed to call/email each person JUST to make sure they’re really not coming? No! That’s the point of the RSVP. Just drop it in the mail, or go to the wedding website and respond appropriately. It’s so easy – don’t be a jerk!

Don’t Drink Too Much

This is tricky, since it’s easy to have one too many and act a little inappropriate. Read the room.

• If the bride and groom are doing shots, it’s probably a looser atmosphere.
• If there’s an open bar, approach with caution and know your limits. Open bars mean the couple and couple’s family want you to have fun, but just don’t be the person barfing in the corner or dancing on a table.
  (We had an open bar but a no-shots rule – I really do think it kept people a little more in check).
• If the bride and groom are not drinking, and it doesn’t seem like many other people are either, maybe have one or two and see how the night unfolds.
• Make sure you know how you’re getting home or back to the hotel. Many weddings have shuttles available, but at least have cash for a cab on hand.

Wear Appropriate Clothing
The time of day and the location of the ceremony and reception can help to clue you in as to the right attire. A backyard wedding means nice shorts/shirt with a collar or a sundress is probably okay. An evening wedding at a nice, well known building usually indicates a bit fancier vibe, so a longer or nicer dress and a suit is the way to go. Nothing too short, nothing too casual, and really ladies, nothing white, no matter what the bride is wearing. It’s just tacky. If the bride and groom are especially particular about what you should wear, it will usually be indicated on the invite.

This is a celebration, it’s meant to be a time of joy and happiness for the couple, and you can help in making sure that is how their wedding day goes. If you’re interested in wedding etiquette or need more clarity on some things, check out Emily Post’s site, where you’ll find all the answers.

Five Friday Things: Things I love that other people hate

If you remember the last Five Friday Things edition, I talked about the things I used to hate but now I love.

This time it’s about the things I really like that other people (generally) don’t seem to like as much as I do. This is all generalizations and I am prone to hyperbole. People might not HATE these things, but I feel, just from experience, that I’m way more into these things than other people.

Okay.

1) Egg Nog
Starting it out easy with egg nog. Not so divisive, but most people don’t like egg nog. As soon as I see egg nog on the shelves, I get pumped. I don’t let myself buy it till at least Dec. 1, but it’s so wonderful and amazing and tastes like Christmas and vanilla sunbeams and rich, tasty fat and hydrogenated oils. This strictly applies to grocery store, alcohol free egg nog. I have really no interest in making my own, egg-filled, hot, weird, boozy drink. bleh.

I heard someone say it was gross because it was like drinking melted ice cream. Um…why would that be gross? Isn’t that a milkshake? this is like a milkshake, but BETTER. Because it’s egg nog. I used to call it egg nob when I was little.

Man I just typed egg nog so many times, it is starting to sound less and less appealing. Egg based drinks sound gross…but just like the famous egg cream, there’s not really eggs in store bought egg nog.

2) Tattoos
I think it’s pretty clear that I love tattoos. I have five, and three are fairly large and visible. I mean, I don’t know quite how to explain why I like tattoos, but I do know how easy it is for people to really dislike them, and come up with many, many reasons why.

The book in the picture, Bodies of Subversion, is all about women and tattoos, the history and the cultural significance of tattooed women and women tattooers. It’s really great, and I learned a lot and actually was empowered by this book. I learned the idea that all people get tattoos purely for aesthetics, no matter what you tell yourself/other people what it means to you, you’re putting art on your body because you like how it looks, and what to convey a certain image of yourself to everyone else.

This is from my favorite passage: “Women’s tattoos do have real-world ramifications to the extent that they defy socially sanctioned standards of feminine beauty for the recognition of new, largely self-certified ones.” That’s a thinker.

3) Buying People Presents 
Buying people presents is literally one of my absolute favorite things. I buy people presents like months in advance of their birthdays. I fantasize about having more money, just so I can buy that perfect gift for someone. And it really doesn’t matter who it is for. I got our mail-lady a small gift for Christmas (did you know there’s like a huge list of things you CANNOT give your mail carrier, including money and a meal??) and she was so thrilled, she wrote the nicest thank you note and it just made my heart so happy.

I get the impression from the people who don’t like getting presents for people don’t like it because they are worried the people won’t like what they pick out. I think the reason I love it is because I’m overconfident that I’ve chosen the most perfect gift. Maybe I’m not as good as I think I am, but it doesn’t matter. I still love it. I have 2 or 3 gifts in my closet right now for people’s birthdays that are still weeks to months away. and I’ve had them for several weeks/months.

4) Hardcore Music
I’m not really going to get into what this really means. But just trust that there is usually screaming involved. Loud drums and stuff. It’s not for everyone. It’s really not for most people. But I just love it. I didn’t always love it, but now I can’t get enough. It’s interesting, different, and pretty emotional. I think most people think it’s angry music.

(Brent at I at Warped Tour many years ago, when he had long flowing locks. Pierce the Veil set above).

When my brother imitates this style of music, he usually mock-screams about hating the world and things along those lines. No one ever says that. Most of it is just like any other song, but just…screamed. For example, this line from “All Nereids Beware,” by one of my favorites, Chiodos:
“This spring of love resembles the uncertain glory of an April day…”

Oh wait, that’s not right, is it? That’s in a hardcore song? Sounds kind of like Shakespeare, doesn’t it?

5) Shakespeare
The line above is from Shakespeare. “The Two Gentlemen of Verona,” in fact.

When I first realized this, my brain exploded. Chiodos has many, many lines from Shakespeare plays in their album “All The World’s A Stage.” (Which, if you’re keeping track, is a famous part of “As You Like It.”)

I took roughly 5 Shakespeare courses in college. I still read it. I have a whole series of young adult novels about Shakespeare.

I remember listening to this hardcore band while reading plays for homework, and suddenly the band sings a line from the very same play I’m reading, my brain exploded.

Shakespeare can cross so many boundaries and genres and will still make sense. The band doesn’t make it obvious or clear that Shakespeare shows up in their songs. It’s like a little secret, and hordes of 16 year olds are totally oblivious that they’re screaming Shakespeare in the mosh pit.

THAT’S SO COOL YOU GUYS YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND AND NEVER WILL! Ugh. Okay, end nerd rant.

lessons in fun (do what you want!)

“What do you like to do for fun?” “What are your hobbies?” “What are your favorite things to do outside of (job/school)?”

On the surface, they are simple questions, usually posed by those who’d like to know you better, or often included on an application or bio form. Fun is not complicated or difficult, but when you really want to give the question a good answer, what do you say?

A few years ago, I seriously didn’t think I had any hobbies. Is Netflix a hobby? (It really, really shouldn’t be.)

What are hobbies, anyways? Some people might think of hobbies are like stamp collecting or model-making, but I think hobbies are those things you do that you really enjoy, but you’re not making money from it. It’s just for the pure enjoyment and maybe your even passion for it.

I was telling Brent my despair at being hobby-less a few years ago, and he just looked at me and was like, well, cooking is your hobby, isn’t it? Oh. Right. That thing that I really enjoy because it makes me happy and is a creative outlet that I can share with people. The giant cookbook collection, expansive Pinterest food board, unnecessary amount of aprons and far too many rubber spatulas… Yes! I have a hobby! It’s very exciting to have a hobby when you’ve been hobbyless.

Chair and tires watching Chopped together.

Brent was also lamenting his hobbyless existence not too long ago. He didn’t think “working on his car” was really a hobby, especially since he doesn’t have a lot of time (or money) to devote to it. But the stack of tires in currently hanging out in our living room and the abundance of car-related parts and pieces in our storage unit beg to differ.

I think that’s the thing, though. We don’t always realize we have a “hobby” because we just like to do these things. We’re not experts or professionals, and that’s exactly what makes us hobbyists. You don’t have to be really good at something for it to be your hobby. You don’t have to be the best, you just have to have fun. You have to get something out of it.

The lovely paintings from Rifle Paper Co. and the cutest animal jewelry from The Small Wild Shop has really been

inspiring me lately. I’d love to be able to draw/paint/sculpt like that, but I don’t really know how, and I’m not super great at it. I even try to mess around with watercolors and acrylic paints, but give up quickly because I just don’t know how to work with them, and nothing turns out right.

Yesterday I got the community college continuing education catalog in the mail. (Right after my mom was telling me to look into taking a community ed class…good timing, Mom!) They have EVERY class in there, you can learn how to sell things on etsy, brew beer, file your own taxes, and plant a garden. Oh, and learn how to bake alcohol infused cup cakes. Everything. Even painting.

Guys, I’m doing it. I’m taking the Painting 1 class they’re offering this summer. I’m not good at painting, and I don’t know how. But it can be my hobby if I let it be. I want painting to be my hobby. That’s my whole point after 500 rambling words. I get to pick my hobbies and the things I choose to have fun with.

So, how do you answer the question? What do you want to do for fun?

Five Friday Things

Things I Used To Hate But Now I Love

Sometimes, we convince ourselves we have ourselves all figured out. We like what we like, we don’t like what we don’t like, and that’s how it is. You can’t make me like mushrooms, and no, it isn’t because I haven’t had the right mushroom.

But there are exceptions. Maybe something you don’t like keeps popping up in your life and you think, “If I just keep trying this thing, I’ll stop hating it.” Over the last 5 or so years, I’ve been trying things I hate, just to see what would happen. It occurred to me in the bath today that there are actually several things that I used to hate, but now, I I’m into them. My theory worked!

1) Baths: I don’t like being in water. Bathing to me is like a get in-get out situation, I think mostly because I have to fix my hair and get ready all over again. And baths were always…not enjoyable. I felt like I was just sitting in a puddle of rapidly cooling water.

But people love baths. And in a bath, you get all these cool little accouterments, like bath bombs and melts and bubbles and beads and salts. I wanted to have that spa-like experience, and let me tell you, that’s tough to do in a 10 minute shower. So I broke down and bought some sweet bath bombs and other little goodies from Moon’s Harvest. The bath bombs are the size of softballs and turn your water into a magical fizzing pool of goodness. I can get down with a bath now, but now I’m obsessed with finding things to put in my bath, and I now require a huge soaking tub in my future dream house.

2) Broccoli and Cauliflower

Growing up, we never had broccoli or cauliflower. Fresh or frozen, raw or steamed, it just never showed up on the table. I wasn’t use to the taste or texture, and I was just generally not a fan. I blame a lot of this on the boiled frozen or mushy, gloopy “cheese” covered versions I was given. It’s not appealing.

I didn’t like either of these veggies until probably two years ago, just because Brent likes them and I wanted to try new foods. I still am not a huge fan of them raw, but we probably have either of these guys at least once a week. I’ll make roasted broccoli with garlic and lemon with a sprinkling of parmesan, or a nice cauliflower puree or a “risotto” with cream and parmesan. Tonight I made a super tasty broccoli and cheddar soup with ham. I cannot get enough! The crazy cauliflower above is from our CSA last summer, and I hope I more this CSA season. I’m thinking this recipe is coming to our table soon…

3) Electropop

Maybe you don’t even know what electropop is. It sounds stupid. and I thought it was. It’s generally happy, upbeat music driven mostly by electronic instruments, like keyboards and synthesizers and drum tracks mixed on a computer program. It never seemed like “real” music to me, and the singing was sometimes a bit too saccharine sweet and just not serious enough. I used to make faces and request the song be changed.

Now, I kind of can’t get enough of it. I love strong female vocalists and imaginative instrumental tracks and hooks that are really hard to get out of your head. It’s an addiction. (Listen above)

4) WINE

This picture is from my 21st birthday, drinking out of my personalized goblet from Jena, and in it was a super sweet, super fruity moscato that I just absolutely loved. It was the only wine I drank, and I definitely didn’t consider myself a wine drinker. Red wine was gross and made my tongue feel weird and it tasted like sour grapes.

I worked at a coffee shop/ wine bar, and I couldn’t give any customers any recommendations or help because I hadn’t had any of our selection. My only comment on my performance review was “Needs to drink more wine.” Well, if you insist…

So, I started going to the weekly wine tastings that were hosted at my work, just sipping and deciding whether I liked it or not. I started to discover that there actually were differences, and I had preferences. I started out loving Pinot Noirs, and slowly started to branch out. Now, you can pretty much give me any wine and I’ll find something I like about it. I love the flavors, I love the low-volume, low-sugar aspect of wine. It’s the perfect drink.

5) Exercise

Okay, I know what you’re thinking…everyone hates exercising. It’s boring and sweaty and hard and gross. Yeah, it can be. I always thought so. Sometimes I still do. But when you sit inside staring at a screen all day, you start to get antsy.

If you’re like me, the antsy feeling turns to anxiety since you haven’t done any more than walk to the kitchen a few times. I joined a gym. I didn’t use it much for the first year, going in spurts but always finding excuses to skip working out. Then Julie made me go to yoga with her. Yoga…BORING. But then i thought “You’re already wearing yoga pants, Jenny…you might as well do some yoga in them.”

I found out that yoga is fun. Like, really fun, and challenging, and centering. (yeah, I said centering.) I also get to wear yoga pants with a purpose. The gym can be fun, too, because the gym has elliptical machines and cable (yay, tv I don’t have to feel guilty about watching!) And the gym gets me out of my house and out of my weird computer screen funk. Exercise also makes me feel strong and healthy, which is good on many levels.

So, I’ve flip flopped on some things in my short 25 years. Maybe I’ll start trying mushrooms more often. Or maybe not.

Is there anything you used to hate, but now you love?

Lunch Break!

I always envied people who would actually take their lunch break. They would go outside, take a walk around the block, eat their sandwich, maybe check Facebook, and go back to their desk. This seems nice and constructive and gives your brain a needed break.

I usually just eat mindlessly at my desk while reading random articles and scrolling through Facebook for the 4987th time. It’s not great. Nor is it really a break. My brain is mushy by lunch time, and even if I’m not focused on work, I’m still in “work mode.”

And then, quickly after my lunch is gone, maybe like an hour later, I do need a break. I need to like…get up and stretch, read a magazine, just anything to get away from my desk. So, I decided to actually start taking a lunch break.

So, I actually started making lunch. Brent always gets the leftovers for lunch (lucky) and if there are actually more left, I get the scraps. But a lot of the time, there are no scraps. I would eat frozen meals or weird soup from a plastic microwave bowl. You know the weird metal/plastic bowl that doesn’t seem allowed to go in the microwave? It was not very exciting or inspiring.

I’ve been trying to keep lettuce or spinach around, and some tortillas, so I can at least start from there. I made a pesto, spinach, and cheese quesadilla the other day that rocked my world. Thats really only 3 ingredients (4 if you count the butter i threw in the pan), and it was incredible. Why have I not been making lunch for myself this whole time?

Have you seen those crazy bento box lunches? I’m so into these. I want to get a bento box and fill it with amazing things and then take it somewhere. Look at those cute toothpicks and the organized little cups of food! Those interesting combinations and sections of food! Makes my sandwich/granola bar/fruit cup of the past pale in comparison (Don’t worry, mom, I still loved your lunches even though there weren’t any pizza lunchables or little debbie brownies…)When we were in Japan, there were whole aisles in the dollar store dedicated to bento boxes. Tiny cookie cutters to make flower shaped carrots, themed toothpicks and adorable little containers…So many accouterments. I could definitely get obsessed with packing school lunches.

Well, I think it’s obvious what I did on my lunch break. I wrote this and then looked at bento box lunches. Whoops. How do you make the most of your lunch break?

I’m Back! (Again. Hopefully for good)

I’m sure you never really noticed I left, but, here I am again.

I’m sort of… “re-branding” this thing. Instead of a food-focused type blog, which is what I was going for last time, I think I’m just going to talk at you. Just my musings and ramblings, with some food stuff, life stuff, etc., etc.

Since I work from home, I don’t get to do that office chatter that comes with a normal job. I like office chatter. I like telling someone about the random, funny, odd, and just even normal things that happen in my day-to-day life. So, that’s what this will be. Me, pretending you’re in my office with me. Except…I’m still by myself and you won’t answer.

Things I’m thinking about today:
1) It’s crazy warm here for mid-March. Like, 70 degrees. Of course, tomorrow it’s going to be barely 50. And then, it might snow later this week. But, regardless, I didn’t wear a coat today, and I broke out the white wine. That’s right, everyone, it is white wine season! It’s official; I’ve officially decided.

2)I listen to way too many podcasts, but like I said, I have no office chatter. Podcasts are cool. I like to just listen to people talk about stuff, and pretend I’m just an eavesdropper. I then tell Brent about what people said “on the podcast today.” Like, “today, on the podcast, so-and-so was talking about xyz, and I was like yes, I totally agree about xyz!” and he’s like wait…who? what? It’s probably annoying.

I found a super great one today, and it is like the holy grail of podcasts for me. I’ve been searching for a podcast that is sort of geared towards a topic I really like, but not so structured. I like when the podcast hosts go off on random tangents and just chat on like friends do. The Joy The Baker Podcast is it. Two food/lifestyle bloggers just basically talking. I love Joy’s blog, she’s a wonderful writer with a bright spirit and takes great pictures. She also has a fluffy orange cat and I have two fluffy orange cats. We could probably be friends.

Do you guys listen to any podcasts? Any recommendations? I’ll probably write a post in the future all about podcasts and that might be really boring.

3) My brother is coming into town this week. He’s in law school and I’m assuming he’s on spring break? That makes sense. But i’m excited to host him for a few days, and then we’ll take him to the airport and explore Milwaukee and drink beer probably and probably go into a bar and watch some basketball which I will pretend to watch but not watch. It will be fun!

Okay, that’s enough. Off to inflate the new air-bed for brother, watch some (more) Top Chef, and drink my long-anticipated, now appropriately seasonal white wine.

My Week in Cooking

Wow, I just realized I didn’t post a single blog in April. That’s pathetic. I think it’s because I think I never have anything interesting to post. But now, I’m going to post whatever I feel like. So here’s my promise in digital ink: I’m going to post much more often. About whatever.

Today’s topic: cooking!

You know how people list hobbies or interests and it always sounds really cool and interesting? I always wish I was these people, with their novel writing or guitar playing. But Brent just pointed out to me recently that cooking and baking are my hobbies. I cook every day, so I didn’t really consider this a “hobby,” but it totally is. Because I love it.

When I tell people I cook every day, I usually get a side-eyed glance and a polite response, but I’m sure these people think I’m crazy. I admit, I’m lucky with my job and schedule because it leaves me a lot of time to cook, since I don’t commute and my hours are flexible.

I’ve always enjoyed cooking, but ever since I graduated college and got married, it really has become part of my life.

In college, I’d whip up a batch of chocolate chip cookies or make some tacos, but cooking wasn’t my priority (obviously). I’d boil some pasta and cook up some chicken and call it a home cooked meal. Which, it is, but isn’t exactly gourmet.

As I got more time, I started to cook a lot more for people. My roommates and I would collaborate on a meal every so often, sometimes slaving away over a miniature stove (seriously, who puts in a half-sized oven in an apartment!?) with all the windows open and fans blasting in our 1930s, non-air-conditioned apartment building.

Hey, it’s me in my college apartment kitchen! Notice the total lack of counter space and that stupid tiny stove in the background. I don’t miss that.

But once I had someone to cook for every day, I really got into it. Sharing the food I make is the best part about making food. I love scouring my magazines and cookbooks for interesting ideas, and my my food pinterest boards are totally full of recipes. I love hearing Brent’s approval as he scarfs down my latest creation. It’s one of th best parts of my day, too.

My meal prep actually begins on Sunday. I sit down with my cookbooks and pinterest and comb through recipes for the week. I ask Brent what he’s craving (which is almost always fish or “meat”) and start making a list.

(Check out my funky new vegetarian cookbook! I picked it up at a garage sale this weekend, and it’s pretty great.)

I plan out what I want to make each day of the week (except for the weekends), and make my grocery list accordingly. This allows me to have everything I need on hand throughout the week, helping me avoid the last minute grocery store run. Admittedly, though, I still end up going back for something.

This approach to cooking also helps us eat healthy all week. Because I plan for it, we rarely play the “what are we having for dinner” game and cave into pizza or Chinese food delivery.

The menu this week! I’m particularly excited for the broccoli casserole, which I found in a vintage 1960s copy of a Better Homes and Gardens cookbook. There’s cream cheese and bleu cheese involved…yum!

More to come soon! Happy Monday, all.

 

 

 

 

 

Winter Does Eventually End (Maybe)

The older I get, the more I resent winter.
January, February, and March taunt me with bitter cold. We’re on the cusp of another polar cold snap and I’m just so sick of it. When will it end!?

I’m slogging through the rest of winter one day at a time. Brent was making fun of me because I have all these plans for “after winter.”  Everything I want to do is for spring and summer. That’s where my whole focus is. But you know, at least I have something to look forward to! I have so many plans.

We signed up for a CSA box (community supported agriculture) so a local farm will pack up a box of fresh produce every week from June-Nov. I am so excited for this! Not only do I not have to fight the crowds at the farmers market, I can support my community’s farmers directly and they’re guaranteed money upfront, and I’m guaranteed yummy veggies. If you’re in the Madison area, check out this link and pick a farm!

Remember those days? The days that were warm and plants grew out of the ground!

I’m also really looking forward to doing THINGS. I feel like winter puts a stop to activities (which isn’t true…) but things are just more fun when done outside. Camping, biking, ice cream, grilling…you know, the works. There’s an outdoor Shakespeare theatre putting on my favorite play ever (Romeo and Juliet) that I’m hoping we can snag tickets to, and concerts on the square which allows us to drink outside in public…who doesn’t want that?!

With our Mexico trip only a couple weeks away, and the weather heating up in March (well, maybe…sometimes it snows in March and April but fingers crossed) I know I don’t have much farther to go. Mexico will be an absolute dream – I’ve stocked up on new swimsuits and sunglasses and plan on totally soaking in all the sunshine I can…under an umbrella of course!

Hi, Mexico…I’m coming back for you.  I missed you.

So for now, I’m just doing things that make me happy and keep my spirits up. Today I accomplished this by baking up my favorite peanut butter sesame breakfast bars. I used to make these on hung-over Saturday mornings when friends had stayed over. They gave everyone a reason to get up and gave us a bit of a boost. They’re nutty and sweet, and absolutely the easiest. You can whip these up in about 10 minutes and throw them in the oven, and most likely you have everything on hand.

You can choose to adapt this recipe, especially if you’re out of ingredients. For the cereal part, I use any puffed or small crunchy cereal we happen to have in our pantry. Don’t like peanut butter? Use almond butter. Don’t’ have sesame seeds? throw in the equivalent of another crushed nut. The honey, though, is a must – but you can halve the amount and add in a mashed banana for flavor without that added sugar. These will definitely put a little sunshine in your day.

Find the recipe here.

 

How Does That Make You Feel? (Let me help you)

I’ve been feeling like a therapist lately.

Recently, I’ve been helping Brent out with a lot of school stuff (grad school is hard), and counseling friends on big life changes and relationship stuff. Sometimes it’s overwhelming, because I tend to take on people’s problems until I think I’ve come up with a good solution. It’s tough, but I do love it.

This isn’t really anything new for me. I’ve always been that person people gravitate to when they have a problem. I’ve been told I’m very empathetic, but being totally empathetic and absorbing other people’s problems can really wear you down. So I think as I’ve gotten older, I’m a bit quicker to tell people how I see it rather than giving a sugar-coated, tell-them-what-they-want-to-hear answer. I’ve also started to only give people advice when they ask for it, which tends to work out a lot better for everyone.

I even thought about going back to school to become a licensed therapist because I do really like trying to help people, trying to figure out why they’re having a problem or what makes them do the things they do or feel the things they’re feeling.  but I don’t think I’m up for years and years more of school. 

This is all coming from reading one of my favorite advice givers. He writes from within a girl-oriented site, and girls come to him for his manly perspective on relationship stuff. It’s awesome. He’s pretty brutal, but almost always poignant and spot-on with his advice – like a real life he’s just not that into you situation. His best post yet is this opinion-stlye piece based on the book “Never Have I Ever: My Life (so far) Without A Date”, a strange memoir from a well meaning twenty-something chronicling her life without a relationship – in painstaking, excruciating detail. Seriously, this chick goes through every guy she’s ever liked (going back to kindergarten), why she liked him, what went wrong, and everything. It’s so crazy. The Head Pro’s advice is priceless – please read the exerps from the book and his response. It’s just advice gold.

 This is the part of the post where I beg for your help. I’d LOVE to start a advicey-type column thing on this blog. Maybe once a week I’d try to answer a couple questions for people, focusing on relationships. Not just romantic relationships, but even friendships and family things, too. And nothing is too far out there. It can be as silly as trying to decipher a confusing text or serious problem that needs a serious answer

 

Please send in your questions, or pass the offer of advice on to anyone you’d think would be interested. I’m serious about this, friendly readers! send them in an email (jenny.gagas@gmail.com)

Why December is the Best (an explanation from an expert)

If you know me even a little bit, you know I love December. This is going to be a very non-serious post trying to explain my fanaticism over this 12th month.

I love Christmas. I love snow. I love having frozen cheeks and frozen boogers (yeah, it happens okay?) and that silence that only comes during a snowfall.
Let me tell you why.

1) My birthday! My birthday is the first day of the best month of the year. When you get older, birthdays get boring and less-special, since everyone is pretty much living their lives and no one is making a big to-do for you. But this year, I did feel pretty special. My #1 fan Brent spent – literally- about seven hours in our kitchen making me a beautiful cake. This wasn’t a box mix and a can of frosting, people. He made me a cake the way I would make me a cake, albeit with a bit more mess.

he’s working that mixer like a pro

I wasn’t allowed to help, and while that was pretty nice, I couldn’t help but peek. He didn’t want me in the kitchen at all because he knew I’d take over. I have kitchen control issues. I did get to teach him how to separate egg yolks from egg whites, but then I got immediately kicked out.
Look. at. this. cake.

Note the gorgeous, even layers. I’m going to go ahead and say Brent is a much more precise, perfectionist baker than I am and really takes his time to do it right. it makes me happy. This cake rocked my mouth.

I got showered in love on my birthday – my parents happened to be in town, too, so I got to have a birthday brunch (birthday donut and champagne included) along with many gifts and wishes. It was lovely and I did feel special turning 24.

2) I love SNOW. snow snow snow. It usually snows on my birthday. Even when I lived in central Illinois, the sky always squeezed out a few flurries. The last few years haven’t been so lucky, but no bother. I live in Wisconsin…in a month I will be up to my knees in the stuff. I’ve always loved the snow, though. I just love how pretty and pure it makes everything look. I love how you can look out your window and be cozy with the snow outside. I love the sound it makes. I like how it smells. I like how it really makes Christmas more Christmassy. (Can you tell I grew up in the Midwest?)

3) The Christmas Season
I have garnered this really strange reputation of being the “girl who loves christmas.” I didn’t like…try to be that person. I just really do love it. Apparently word spread, because last year at the cafe I work at, one of my co-workers was like “Oh, yeah, you’re the one who loves Christmas, right?” (um…duh?) “Can I ask why you love it?” I literally didn’t know what to say. I just do. They thought there was some profound reason, or we have some really unique traditions or something. Nope. Not really. But basically, here’s why. I love that everything shines a bit brighter. Cities decorate their streets. Stores put up lights and tinsel. People are more generous and conscious of kindness. I get to buy the people I love things just because I love them. I get to see my giant family that I really only get to see on holidays. We do the same things every year that make them special because we ONLY do them once a year, like walking across the frozen lake, baking an obscene amount of cookies, decorating the house with sparkly, glittery things, eating the same foods and having the same conversations. Blasting Bing Crosby all month. Seeing people’s faces when they open gifts. I’m getting excited just talking about it. Now that I’m married, I have a whole new family to share it with, and start new traditions within my own little family. To me, Christmas is about love. Sharing love, spreading love, feeling love, and remembering that we are loved. Also, Jesus and his love. Love, people, it’s all love. Keep that in mind when you start to wonder what a freak like me sees in this month.

Look at my face. That is exactly how I feel inside!

Alright, that was a long ramble. Enjoy this season. It only comes once a year and goes by way too fast. Also, I hope you’re ready for more posts from me, because I have a lot planned! Have a good first week of December!